Discovering someone you care about is experiencing suicidal thoughts can be an emotional and overwhelming experience. It is natural to feel scared, confused, or even helpless. However, your understanding and support can make a significant difference in their journey toward healing.
If you’re concerned that someone you care about may be thinking of ending their life, it’s natural to feel unsure about what to do. You might feel frightened, helpless, or worried about saying the wrong thing. These feelings are completely normal.
This guide provides practical, compassionate steps to help you recognise the signs of suicidal thoughts, start a conversation, and support someone in getting the help they need.
Content Warning
This page discusses suicidal thoughts and behaviours, which some readers may find distressing. If you’re feeling vulnerable, you might not want to read the information below. There are details of where to find help at the bottom of this page.
If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact emergency services or go to your nearest A&E.
Recognising warning signs
Someone who is feeling suicidal may not always ask for help directly, but often there can be emotional, behavioural, or physical signs that they are struggling.
Possible warning signs include:
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or despair
- Talking about feeling trapped or being a burden to others
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or usual activities
- Dramatic changes in mood—especially a sudden lift after deep low mood
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Saying goodbye, giving away possessions, or making final arrangements
- Changes in sleep patterns or eating habits
- Searching online for methods to end their life
It’s important to remember that some people may show no obvious signs, or their behaviour may seem subtle. If your instincts tell you something isn’t right, it’s okay to trust that feeling and gently reach out.
Starting a conversation
Talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable but asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal does not increase their risk. In fact, research shows it can reduce distress and help them feel less alone.
You could say things like:
- “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really down lately. Would you like to talk?”
- “Are you feeling overwhelmed, or having thoughts about hurting yourself?”
- “You’re not alone—I care about you, and I want to help.”
You do not have to find the perfect words. What matters most is that you create a safe, non-judgmental space where they can talk honestly. Listen more than you speak. Avoid interrupting, offering quick solutions, or minimising their pain.
How can I provide support for someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts?
There are many ways you can support someone who self-harms, including:
- Begin by gently encouraging your loved one to talk to someone about why they self-harm: Once you have a clearer understanding of why your loved one is self-harming, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and patience. Encourage them to seek professional help, such as therapy or counselling, where they can explore their feelings in a safe and supportive environment. Your support can make a significant difference in their journey towards healing and recovery.
- Encourage open communication: Create a safe environment where the individual feels comfortable discussing their feelings. Listen actively and empathetically without offering immediate solutions or judgments.
- Learn about self-harm and why people do it: Understanding self-harm can reduce misconceptions and enable you to provide informed support. Self-harm is often a coping mechanism for emotional distress, not necessarily an attempt at giving up.
- Encourage and help facilitate healthy coping mechanisms: Encourage the adoption of alternative coping strategies, such as physical activity, journaling, or engaging in hobbies, to manage overwhelming emotions.
- Keep offering to help them find professional support: Gently suggest seeking support from mental health professionals who can offer appropriate therapies and interventions.
- Let them control their decisions: This is a very difficult thing to do but self-harm can sometimes be a way for individuals to regain a sense of control. Be sensitive to this and provide a supportive environment where they can make informed choices about their well-being. Ensure that any actions taken are done with their full consent and on their terms.
- Get your own support: If someone you love is self-harming, it can also be very difficult to cope with your own feelings. We really encourage you to enlist the help of family, friends and professionals so that you too have your own support system.
Looking after yourself, too
Supporting someone who is suicidal can be emotionally draining. It’s important to look after your own wellbeing and seek support if you need it.
- Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling
- Consider speaking to a therapist or accessing a support group for carers or loved ones
- Remember that you are not responsible for fixing everything on your own
Treatment for suicidal thoughts
We understand that sharing how you are feeling and reaching out for professional help can feel incredibly overwhelming. But taking that first step is a powerful act of courage – the journey towards a rewarding life, one filled with love, hope, and possibility. Treatment for suicidal ideation is typically multi-layered and may include a combination of the following:
Comprehensive Assessment and Safety Planning
The first step in treatment is a full assessment by a mental health professional. This helps identify the severity of the suicidal thoughts, any underlying conditions (such as depression or anxiety), and any immediate risks.
- A personalised safety plan may be developed to help you stay safe during periods of crisis. This often includes identifying warning signs, coping strategies, and who to contact for support.
Psychological Therapies
Therapy is a cornerstone of treatment. Evidence-based talking therapies can help you explore what’s contributing to your distress and teach practical skills to manage it.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – A structured, short-term therapy that helps challenge negative thinking patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – Particularly helpful for people who experience intense emotions or self-harm. DBT teaches skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.
- Psychodynamic or trauma-focused therapies – May be recommended if suicidal thoughts are linked to past experiences, unresolved trauma, or long-standing emotional patterns.
Medication
Medication may be prescribed to treat underlying mental health issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, or anxiety, which can contribute to suicidal thinking.
- Antidepressants, mood stabilisers, or antipsychotic medications may be used, depending on individual needs.
- Medication is usually most effective when combined with therapy and regular monitoring by a prescribing clinician.
Crisis Services and Hospital Treatment
In situations where suicidal risk is high, more intensive support may be necessary:
- Crisis teams can provide urgent home-based support.
- Hospital admission may be recommended if there is a serious risk of harm and you need a safe environment for stabilisation and treatment.
Social and Lifestyle Support
It is important to address the social and practical factors that can contribute to suicidal thoughts:
- Support with housing, employment, or finances
- Peer support groups
- Lifestyle changes such as improving sleep, nutrition, physical activity, and social connection
Support at Nightingale Hospital
Treatment for suicidal thoughts at Nightingale begins with a thorough assessment with a consultant psychiatrist. From this assessment, a consultant psychiatrist will put together an individualised treatment plan and recommendation for you which may include medication, psychotherapy or CBT.
Our consultant psychiatrists and therapists specialise in treatment for self-harm
We have a team of 45 consultant psychiatrists and over 100 therapists who specialise in treating a range of mental health conditions.
Our team are here to understand what you are experiencing and match you with a suitable specialist who will be able to put together an individualised treatment plan for you. Complete the enquiry form below and our team will contact you for a confidential discussion.
Useful resources
If you’re finding things difficult, you’re not alone—there are people who care and want to help. Below are some confidential support services available to you:
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Samaritans: Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org for free, confidential support 24/7.
- CALM: Call 0800 58 58 58 or chat on WhatsApp.
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MIND: Call 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 for mental health support, available weekdays from 9am to 6pm.
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Shout: Text “SHOUT” to 85258 for 24/7 support via text.
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HOPELINE247 (Papyrus): If you’re under 35 and struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, call 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org for free, confidential support 24/7.
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Childline: If you’re under 19, call 0800 1111 for free, confidential support from trained counsellors.
- Switchboard: Call 0800 0119 100 or email hello@switchboard.lgbt – confidential and inclusive helpline offering support specifically for LGBTQIA+ people.
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NHS: Visit the NHS website for advice, coping strategies, and support resources related to self-harm.
